Low volume sitcom at 4am

Insomnia strikes again

I feel you next to me

Whisper sweet nothings to me please

Its all I remember

When you’re gone

Am I asleep yet, dreaming?

I’m not sure

The two seem similar as of late

It feels like yesterday

That we hopped that fence in Carmel

To get in the jacuzzi at 1am

It was so warm, so unlike you

We talked about our fondness of each other

And yet

I forget what you said

In New York I was happy

It wasn’t because of him, I suppose

But if not, why does it hurt so bad

I guess it’s because

He gave me a dream I only imagine at 4am

One with doormen, a townhouse in Tribeca, shopping on 5th Ave

And the stability I crave

I saw my larger than life dream come true

And he left and took that dream with him

But it’s still here, in my mind

It always will be

Until the day it’s no longer a dream

Maybe it wasn’t time, and he wasn’t right

But I wanted it so bad

It was right in front of me, ripped away

Like many other things in my life

Patience isn’t easy

I’m barely figuring that out

I remember how badly I wanted to be 20

When I was only 13

I wanted to have a career and be a grown up

Now all I want is a man that will treat me like I’m 13 forever

Between the laughs on television

And your words in my mind

I try to forget how it was

Any of the could’ve’s or would’ve’s

Or the broken promises

And there I am again

Alone